Learn From Me: Don't Starve Yourself

Charis Corner: Stories of Grace in a Broken World

Holiday Piece I

If there’s one thing I struggle with as a mom of young children, it’s taking care of myself.

My mom is amazing. She can watch all the kids, feed them and herself, clean the house, and still have dinner made on time. I do not have that same superhero power. I get the kids dressed, fed, play, and the next thing I know it’s time to make lunch. Though my kids don’t nap, I still have them go to their bedrooms for quiet time. By the time this is all said and done, it’s one…sometimes two o’clock before I get to feed myself.

What do I do then? Do I take the time to fix myself something healthy? No, I grab the fastest, tastiest thing I can find. At this point, I’ve starved myself so much, even junk tastes good.

How often do we starve ourselves—not with food but the Lord? And what do we want want to do when we finally get a moment to ourselves? We stuff ourselves with junk--Netflix, Hulu, movies, bags of chips, pints of ice cream, Snicker's bars, or Facebook. 

We starve ourselves--and exhaust every moment of every day--that when we finally have a spare moment, we crave junk. It tastes good. But it never satisfies.

In our spiritual lives, we start the day with a quick cup of coffee and a pastry—a quick scan of a devotional or Bible verse and a prayer. Then we go about our day with no other sustenance. We wonder why we’re irritable and frustrated. How are we supposed to deal with stupid people when we’ve starved ourselves?

I don’t know about you, but I suffer from a condition others call “hangry”—so hungry I become irrationally and uncontrollably angry. I’m completely serious. Throughout these past five years as a parent, I’ve learned I cannot function in a loving and compassionate manner if I’ve starved myself. So now, I eat when the kids eat. I must take care of myself, even if it results in a later quiet time.

So how can we apply this to ourselves? How can we make sure we get what we need spiritually especially when we’re so busy we can’t care for ourselves? 

We take breaks. This will look different for each person, each profession, and how we spend that time will look different, because God communes with each person in their own unique way. But without these breaks in our day to reconnect with God—our power source and sustenance—we will starve ourselves, and we will not be able to serve or love people the way you need to.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV):

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Good "Father"

I'm a Daddy's girl. I'll admit it. Growing up, I couldn't wait for my dad to show up, scoop me in his arms, and dance with me. He'd pull me aside to listen to a song or play his electric guitar like a pro.

As I've grown, I still look up to him. He's been through so much. If you could hear his story, it'd move you...but I digress.

He's a wonderful man, and I idolize him even as an adult. But that dynamic has changed a lot. He makes mistakes. He's passionate and rash, forgiving to a fault. A lot of my best character traits I get from him. But he's extremely busy. Between being a full-time pastor and farmer (he raises free range chickens and grass-fed beef: Beutler Farms), we don't get to spend a lot of time together.

This Wednesday, I was working at our church's daycare, and we were out on the playground. He strides out the door and jumps up on the picnic table and gives me a big hug.

Now, from the man who calls me "Dear" this isn't out of character. The thing is we haven't spent much time together lately, so when he came over, I expected he wanted to chat with me about something serious or needed my help. Maybe he was displeased with me about something. The great thing about my dad is he isn't afraid of confrontation, so if something comes up, he'll tell me.

But the man grins at me, wraps his arm around my shoulder, and squeezes hard. My heart warmed instantly. I don't know how I'd been feeling, but one embrace made me so happy. I almost cried. Life is hard right now. My baby boy, my kindergartener, is doing well in school and growing up. My twin 3yos are such a handful. And my hubby's gone a lot between his commute to Purdue every other weekend and his huge homework and career load. One little hug from my dad made all that stress go away. I felt loved, cared for, in a way that required absolutely nothing from me.

On my way to Starbucks today, I heard a song by Chris Tomlin called "Good Father." Essentially it comes down to that He is our good father--that's who He is, and I am loved by Him--that's who I am.

I thought about my father's hug yesterday, and how I'd expected stern and serious talking. But he just wanted a hug. He just wanted to check on me and tell me he loves me. (geez, now I'm crying...lol)

How often do I expect God to keep His distance--He's busy--until there is something serious to talk about? But what if I have it backwards, just like I did with my own dad. What if all He wants is a hug, a chat, a loving word with his beloved child? (Ah! More tears)

I believe He does. I have faith in Him--belief with expectation. If my human father--who is far from perfect--loves me this much, how much more does my Heavenly Father love me?

That's the whisper He put in my heart today. I hope you hear it, too. :)

Experiencing Trials with Elijah

Charis Corner: Stories of Grace in a Broken World

By Kari Mahara

Elijah is one of those characters from the Bible I greatly admire. His faith in God and obedience is something I strive for in my own life. I recently taught in Sunday School (and read in my 5-5-5) about Elijah’s faceoff with the priests of Baal—how Elijah taunted these priests when Baal couldn’t rain down fire from Heaven, but when Elijah prayed, God rained down fire that burned the offering, altar, and even the ditch that had been drenched in water. The people chanted, “The Lord, He is God.” It gave me goosebumps.

But then, Queen Jezebel threatens Elijah, and this is what he does:

1 Kings 19:3-9: “Elijah was afraid[a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.

What follows is the story of God passing by Elijah, a still small voice.

There is so much in these stories that ring true today. How often after we see God move do we let fear take hold? Fear is something I’ve struggled with since I was a child, and now it manifests itself in anxiety, worry, and need to control. I can look back over the past year and a half and see God’s fingerprint on my life. I can see how God provided for us when there was no money and how he continues to bless us on one income. But that fear cripples me just like Elijah.

But what really grips me about this story is God’s reaction. Does He look at Elijah in disappointment? Does He reprimand him? No. He sends an angel to feed Elijah. God says, “The journey is too much for you.” When you are faithful in following Him, when you love Him with all that you are, but you still struggle, remember this story. God isn’t standing over you, chastising you for your lack of strength or faith or courage. He’s drawing you in His arms, caring for you.

And what comes next is rare and incredible. 1 Kings 19:11-12: “The Lord said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” That gentle whisper is with you every moment through whatever you face.

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Now, head on over to The Writing Mom and see what impact this lesson had on my life this week.

Fighting the "Mondays"

Charis Corner: Stories of Grace in a Broken World

By Kari Mahara

JACK:

The alarm blares at 6:30 a.m. It’s Monday morning…again. The day flies by, full of meetings, phone calls, clients. Emergencies crop up like storm clouds during this muggy month of June. I find myself yanked around, finding missing files and on hold while my fingers scurry across the keyboard. Before I know it, five o’clock rolls around, and I try to untangle the mess that fills my email and spills across my desk. I head home, help with dinner, get the kids to bed, and procrastinate going to sleep. I lose myself in television shows and Bleacher Report on my phone, avoiding the dread seeping in.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll start it all again, and when I think about that, I wonder again what I’m doing. What’s the point? I hate the stress, the tedious demand of work and kids. There’s no relief, no break. And the truth is, everyone I know is doing the exact same thing.

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We look forward to the weekend, to vacation, to holidays. We put our eyes—our focus—on tomorrow, yearning for rest and peace, but it’s only temporary. Monday always comes, bringing back these same emotions and fear—that this is all there is.

Rudy and I had the opportunity to take our family on a Caribbean cruise with my father-in-law’s family. This experience was mind-blowing. Out there in the middle of the ocean, we’re not worried about Monday or work. There’s no internet, no cell service. You’re on a boat in the middle of the ocean with only God to trust, which for me was terrifying, as I have a phobia of drowning. There were waves, lots of them. So much so I had trouble climbing the ladder to my bed.

But the beauty was captivating. The stars filled the sky, constellations painting pictures and weaving stories. The white sand beach and vivid blue waters reminded us there is a whole other world out there. And as we pushed our kids in the stroller along the streets of Grand Cayman, we realized our lives weren’t so terrible.

But then Monday morning came again.

So what’s the solution? We all know the “right” answer. But what does it mean practically in our day-to-day life?

Every single day, God is working. Do you know what He’s doing? Have you even asked? We focus so closely on ourselves, we miss the exquisite workings of God in our lives, in our world. That 5-5-5 time isn’t another demand on your time, it’s a lifeline to all the strength, purpose, and peace we need to make it in this world. So when trouble comes, we can still praise Him, love Him, and trust He works all things for our good (Romans 8:28).

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit.”

May--The REAL Enemy

Charis Corner: Stories of Grace in a Broken World

By Kari Mahara

This was a frustrating week. I thought I’d run a few errands before picking up my son from preschool. Instead, my day imploded. I shattered my back windshield, because I tried to shut the back with the lawn mower handle sticking out. Then my car shut down and wouldn’t start (apparently, it has an anti-theft setup).  So after sweeping up the cubed glass and removing my children (and carseats) from the car, my mother-in-law came in and saved the day. I thought, “Okay, this’ll work. My misfortune gave her the opportunity to serve and love me. Everything’s good now.”

I was wrong.

My husband didn’t get anywhere with the van company, so he decided to remove the starter (which he was certain—as was everyone else he consulted—the problem). After dark. You already know the outcome. Starter works fine. Once he disconnected the battery (and reconnected the starter), the van started up no problem.

Then the loaner car from my (amazing) mother-in-law broke down while my husband tried to run the kids out to my mom’s place. So he had to unload all the kids and carseats and move them to his Jeep. By the time he switched cars with me, he was in a foul mood. And then I find out, he didn’t listen to one word I said to him last night or this morning—he sent the kids to my mom’s in p.j.’s with no clothes.

Anger flowed hot through me. Irritation and frustration battled for control of my tongue. My mind swirled with all those thoughts wives and girlfriends want to tell their significant others. But I kept my mouth shut. And prayed. And reached out to my close friends, begging for prayer for calm and peace. One wonderful friend reminded me of Isaiah 26:3: “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”

It hit me. My husband is not the enemy. I’ll say it again. My husband is not the enemy. As much right as I have to be angry with him, he’s not the enemy. SATAN IS. Satan—with his “truths” that are really lies. With his manipulations. His emotion-pushing, sneaky-workings, and nasty-whispering. His goal is to isolate each of us, steal our joy, and snuff out our light. He knows if we withdraw from others, stuff down that anger and hurt, we’re easy to pick off. But when we stand together, pray for one another, and encourage one another in TRUTH, we become a bright light.

So when you encounter that whiney cashier, pushy coworker, and crazy (slow or fast) driver on the road, remember: they are not the enemy. SATAN is.

1 Peter 5:8-10: “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

April--Beyond Doubt to Hope and Cheer

Charis Corner: Stories of Grace in a Broken World

By Kari Mahara

2 Corinthians 10:3-5: “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Life is an ocean. Water surrounds me, stretching in all directions as far as I see.

Sometimes it’s calm. The blue water is smooth, beautiful. The sun rises in the east and sets in the rest, its vivid colors bursting from the horizon across the sky and rippling along the water. I’m at peace. I don’t need a life jacket or floating device. I float on my back, content in my circumstances.

But then the storms come. The tumultuous clouds block out the light of the sun or turn red as blood in warning of what is to come. Waves rise and fall, tossing me about, a mere leaf in the arms of a tornado. Fear flies in with the wind, choking me. What can I do? Who can help me? The words I AM resound in my mind. God can.

I call out, and He wraps His arms around me in an instant, a life jacket strapped to my chest. I cling to it and wait out the storm. But what happens when the storm passes? Do I continue clinging to the life jacket? Or do I relax, take it off, and toss it the side?

I’m in the middle of an ocean. Yet sometimes I forget the danger of my circumstances, lulled into security when the waves are calm. Then the sky darkens. The wind whips my hair. The waves crash into me, and I frantically reach for my life jacket again, swearing this time not to take it off.

Until the storms come again. This time, I pray for deliverance and know this will pass. Each time, I choke on salt water and feel bruised by the waves. I surrender control, but it’s not enough. My anxious thoughts swarm me again and again, haunting me with their half-truths and lies. The enemy taunts me.

But this time, I’ve had enough. This time, I turn my gaze to the Heavens and reach out my hands. Jesus walks to me on the water. He waits for me. I pull myself up onto the surface of the water and call out, “Enough!” I claim Jesus’s words as my own. “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

When the winds die down and the waves smooth into ripples, Jesus’s smiling face fills my sight. For once, I didn’t let Satan’s lies consume my mind, but instead I stood strong in Him and resisted the enemy.

Psalm 94:19 (NLT): “When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.”